Exam Fever...

Salam to all. How's your day? I'm enjoying each moment with my notes, my lil' ones, and my life. It's totally different now to prepare myself for the final exam as the last time I prepared for that was eight years ago. Hihihi... I felt different now as I have two handbags to carry around... Hahaha... My lil' ones of course!

To all my students, my coursemates, those who are taking SPM n STPM, best of luck n may we all pass with flying colors! Chaiyok chaiyok!

Syukur...

Salam to all. Alhamdulillah. Syukur kepada Allah S.W.T. atas segala nikmat dan rahmat.

It's my exam weeks. I'm busy struggling with my notes and my lil' ones as well... I love both of them soooo muchhhh....

I need motivation... motivation... motivation....

Ya Allah! Berikanlah aku hidayah dan kekuatan untuk menghadapi segala dugaanMu...

Accepting The Truth in Life

Salam to all. I'm doing lots of reading and writing for the past few days. It's my project on Vehicular Network. My partner is Rohaya, a lecturer in Politeknik Kuching. We're writing on safety applications available on vehicular network. I'm still writing and almost complete. But need to conclude the project tonight with her and compile our project as our submission and presentation is tomorrow.

I had bad moments and good moments in life. However, as I mentioned before, I never thought my decision to take full time study leave is gonna be this difficult. I always wonder if I'm doing the right decision or not. But someone ever told me before. Any decision that we made, we have to bear the obstacles that might occur on it.

I believe in balancing our life and relationship. I believe when the other part is hard and the other part must be soft. Give and take is very important. But I dunno. I've started not to believe in that anymore.

How I wish I'm a strong person. I'm not actually as I'm a very sensitive person. Dunno how long I can bear these anymore. I keep reminding myself; I'm very fortunate because Allah S.W.T. granted me with lil' Muhammad and lil' Iman Najiha. They are the most wonderful things that ever happened in my life. The gifts that I'll never forget for the rest of my life.

I wish... _____ can appreciate me and realize about my existence in _____ life. Not only me, but also my children. I just wish.

I always told myself, ______ and I believe that.

But this morning... Something happened. Which made me think. Maybe I tried too hard to believe such things. What if I stop trying?

What will happen next? Maybe I'll feel better. Who knows?

I Spoil Myself

Salam to all. Alhamdulillah. I feel much much better today. Thanks to my friends aka bloggers who are very concern with me. I'm better now.

I can't think on anything yesterday. Feel so sad n I don't even know what else to do. I'm totally lost... Suddenly, I feel like I want to spoil myself with something. I went to spa yesterday. I did body scrub, milk bath, tungku massage, facial n I even cut my hair to a new style. The result??? I FEEL SOOOOO GOOOOODDDDD!!!!!!!!

So now I can think properly. Yes, we need to think carefully before we put into action. I'm scared too. Anything is possible when we're under pressure. So I took a deep breath n drive direct to my favourite spa centre. I spoil myself for almost 5 hours. It's worth it....

My advice; please think wisely n be sensible. I'm learning to deal with my pain. So next time, I know what to do when I feel it again. Thank you so much to my dear friends who are also bloggers; nurHeart n mummySyafie for their concern. I luv u guys!!!

Kebahagiaan Dalam Perpisahan

Salam to all. I dunno how to describe my feelings today. I feel depressed. I feel angry. I feel sad. Maybe this song can describe how I actually feel today.

Kebahagiaan Dalam Perpisahan

Tak perlu ucapkan sepatah kata

Kerna lantang terbaca dari muka

Kau dan daku sudah tiada

Keserasian di jiwa

Mungkin magisnya sudah hilang

Tak perlulah kita mencuba lagi

Betulkan kesilapan perhubungan ini

Bila setiap perbincangan

Menjadi perbalahan

Mana agaknya cinta kasih

Embun pun takkan mampu menyubur sekuntum

Bunga yang layu pada musim luruh

Yang dulunya mekar disinar suria

Bila sudah kering pasti akan gugur

Seperti cinta kita yang jelas ternyata

Semakin lama oh semakin rekah

Menimbulkan tanya apa mungkin kita

Temu kebahagiaan dalam perpisahan

Usah titis air mata kau tangiskan

Ku dah cukup menampung selautan

Begitu lama ku pendam

Tapi hanya berdiam

Kerna cuba menafi realiti

Seperti cinta kita yang jelas ternyata

Semakin lama oh semakin rekah

Menimbulkan tanya apa mungkin kita

Temu kebahagiaan dalam perpisahan...

A Cloudy Day

Salam to all. It's a cloudy day today. A cloudy day in my life too. I dunno... (sigh)

Just dunno how to describe my feelings today. It's complicated. My heart, my soul n my mind are very cluttered with lots of things. I wish I've a better day today. (sigh)

I must focus on my goals! Insya Allah! I must achieve them. I always thought my decision to take full time study leave will improve lots of things in my life. Never know it's gonna be this difficult. Too many obstacles that I need to go through. Sometimes it really hurts when others have no appreciation on your effort in their life. For me, appreciation is very important in our relationship with others. So how do u feel when others have no appreciation on u? It hurts. Especially when u know that person for so many years.

Ya Allah! Lindungilah aku dan bimbinglah aku ke jalan yang diredhaiMu. Amin.