Accepting The Truth in Life

Salam to all. I'm doing lots of reading and writing for the past few days. It's my project on Vehicular Network. My partner is Rohaya, a lecturer in Politeknik Kuching. We're writing on safety applications available on vehicular network. I'm still writing and almost complete. But need to conclude the project tonight with her and compile our project as our submission and presentation is tomorrow.

I had bad moments and good moments in life. However, as I mentioned before, I never thought my decision to take full time study leave is gonna be this difficult. I always wonder if I'm doing the right decision or not. But someone ever told me before. Any decision that we made, we have to bear the obstacles that might occur on it.

I believe in balancing our life and relationship. I believe when the other part is hard and the other part must be soft. Give and take is very important. But I dunno. I've started not to believe in that anymore.

How I wish I'm a strong person. I'm not actually as I'm a very sensitive person. Dunno how long I can bear these anymore. I keep reminding myself; I'm very fortunate because Allah S.W.T. granted me with lil' Muhammad and lil' Iman Najiha. They are the most wonderful things that ever happened in my life. The gifts that I'll never forget for the rest of my life.

I wish... _____ can appreciate me and realize about my existence in _____ life. Not only me, but also my children. I just wish.

I always told myself, ______ and I believe that.

But this morning... Something happened. Which made me think. Maybe I tried too hard to believe such things. What if I stop trying?

What will happen next? Maybe I'll feel better. Who knows?

I Spoil Myself

Salam to all. Alhamdulillah. I feel much much better today. Thanks to my friends aka bloggers who are very concern with me. I'm better now.

I can't think on anything yesterday. Feel so sad n I don't even know what else to do. I'm totally lost... Suddenly, I feel like I want to spoil myself with something. I went to spa yesterday. I did body scrub, milk bath, tungku massage, facial n I even cut my hair to a new style. The result??? I FEEL SOOOOO GOOOOODDDDD!!!!!!!!

So now I can think properly. Yes, we need to think carefully before we put into action. I'm scared too. Anything is possible when we're under pressure. So I took a deep breath n drive direct to my favourite spa centre. I spoil myself for almost 5 hours. It's worth it....

My advice; please think wisely n be sensible. I'm learning to deal with my pain. So next time, I know what to do when I feel it again. Thank you so much to my dear friends who are also bloggers; nurHeart n mummySyafie for their concern. I luv u guys!!!

Kebahagiaan Dalam Perpisahan

Salam to all. I dunno how to describe my feelings today. I feel depressed. I feel angry. I feel sad. Maybe this song can describe how I actually feel today.

Kebahagiaan Dalam Perpisahan

Tak perlu ucapkan sepatah kata

Kerna lantang terbaca dari muka

Kau dan daku sudah tiada

Keserasian di jiwa

Mungkin magisnya sudah hilang

Tak perlulah kita mencuba lagi

Betulkan kesilapan perhubungan ini

Bila setiap perbincangan

Menjadi perbalahan

Mana agaknya cinta kasih

Embun pun takkan mampu menyubur sekuntum

Bunga yang layu pada musim luruh

Yang dulunya mekar disinar suria

Bila sudah kering pasti akan gugur

Seperti cinta kita yang jelas ternyata

Semakin lama oh semakin rekah

Menimbulkan tanya apa mungkin kita

Temu kebahagiaan dalam perpisahan

Usah titis air mata kau tangiskan

Ku dah cukup menampung selautan

Begitu lama ku pendam

Tapi hanya berdiam

Kerna cuba menafi realiti

Seperti cinta kita yang jelas ternyata

Semakin lama oh semakin rekah

Menimbulkan tanya apa mungkin kita

Temu kebahagiaan dalam perpisahan...

A Cloudy Day

Salam to all. It's a cloudy day today. A cloudy day in my life too. I dunno... (sigh)

Just dunno how to describe my feelings today. It's complicated. My heart, my soul n my mind are very cluttered with lots of things. I wish I've a better day today. (sigh)

I must focus on my goals! Insya Allah! I must achieve them. I always thought my decision to take full time study leave will improve lots of things in my life. Never know it's gonna be this difficult. Too many obstacles that I need to go through. Sometimes it really hurts when others have no appreciation on your effort in their life. For me, appreciation is very important in our relationship with others. So how do u feel when others have no appreciation on u? It hurts. Especially when u know that person for so many years.

Ya Allah! Lindungilah aku dan bimbinglah aku ke jalan yang diredhaiMu. Amin.

Ketika Cinta Bertasbih

Salam to all. I want to share this lyric with u all. I love this song. Just love it. It means so much to me.

Ketika Cinta Bertasbih

Bertuturlah cinta

Mengucap satu nama

Seindah goresan sabdaMu dalam kitabku

Cinta yang bertasbih

Mengutus hati ini

Ku sandarkah hidup dan matiku padaMu

Bisikkan doaku

Dalam butiran tasbih

Kupanjatkan doaku padaMu Maha Cinta

Sudah diubun-ubun cinta mengusik rasa

Tak bisaku paksa walau hatiku menjerit

Ketika cinta bertasbih nadiku berdenyut merdu

Kembang kempis dadaku merangkai butir cinta

Garis tangan tergambar tak bisa aku menentang

Sujud syukur padaMu atas segala cinta

Only Allah SWT understands my heart

Salam to all.

I feel depressed and sad today. I don't know how to express my feelings but I give my best not to show my sorrow.

In life, children are gifts from Allah SWT. As parents, we are responsible to guide them, to love them, to take care of them, and to educate them. In my life, I've to wait for three years before Allah SWT blessed me with my first child~lil' Muhammad. I never expect another child due to my right ovary condition. Alhamdulillah. Allah SWT blessed me with my second child~lil' Iman Najiha.

I wish people understand the importance of children in their lives. They're our responsibilities and NOT a burden to us. Why people don't understand that?

Before I sleep, I'll look at my children faces and imagine their bright future to come. When I wake up early in the morning, I'll look at my children faces and imagine what I can do today to make their life happy and cheerful.

Only Allah SWT knows how I feel...

Assignment and Research Paper

Salam to all. I've been doing lots of reading lately. It's the preparation for my assignment and research paper on this particular subject. Seriously... I -hate- (ooppsss...) this subject. But I'm giving my best to complete them.

My assignment is writing a survey report on the latest telecommunication technology which can be introduced to an organization. Mmm... I need help! HELP ME! I just wonder how on earth those technical people merely understand all these technical terms. OMG!

My research paper is writing on ~VEHICULAR NETWORK~!. Any suggestion for this research paper? I'm dying.... Hahaha.... I'm toasted!!!

I love writing. And reading. I purchased several books for my extra reading ~a few English and Malay novels, motivational books and of course... my reference books. I need the novels -for my leisure time-. I need the motivational books -I need motivation.. I do... seriously!-.

I registered Muhammad at Kumon for his Maths class. I love Kumon techniques, motivating the students on independence learning. It's a great approach and I'm confident Muhammad will love it. Will include Muhammad's first class at Kumon in my next entry.

The Value of Life

Salam. Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all. It's being so hectic lately and I've left my wonderful blog alone for so long... I'm really sorry my dear blog. Thanks to all for the birthday wishes I've received today.

Sometimes...

ALLAH breaks our spirit to save our soul

ALLAH breaks our heart to make us a complete person

ALLAH sends us pain so we can be stronger

ALLAH sends us failure so we can be humble

ALLAH sends us illness so we can always remind ourselves

Sometimes...

ALLAH push us to measure how strong and persistence we are

Sometimes...

ALLAH takes everything away from us

so we can learn THE VALUE OF EVERYTHING ALLAH gave us.

PadaMu Ku Bersujud

Ku menatap dalam kelam

Tiada yang bisa ku lihat

Selain hanya namaMu ya Allah

Esok ataukah nanti

Ampuni semua salahku

Lindungi aku dari segala fitnah

Kau tempatku meminta

Kau beriku bahagia

Jadikan aku selamanya

HambaMu yang selalu bertaubat

Ampuniku ya Allah

Yang sering melupakanMu

Saat Kau melimpahkan kurniaMu

Dalam sunyi aku bersujud

PadaMu...

Ampunkan segala dosaku Ya Allah... Bimbinglah hati dan jiwa ini ke jalan yang diredhaiMu...

A New Phase

Salam Ramadhan to all.

My life is going through a new phase at the moment. I'm now a full time housewife to my hubby n a mom to my two lil' ones, a full time student n a part time lecturer. I spent everyday for my family, 3 days at campus for seminar, lectures n labs, n 1 day at college to give lectures.

I'm still in the process of adjusting myself to my new schedule. I feel happy n sad at the same time. I miss my time with friends n colleagues at college but I'm also excited n happy in treasuring every moment of my time with lil' Muhammad n lil' Iman Najiha. Alhamdulillah. Allah S.W.T. had granted me with my wish n I always pray to him the path that has been given to me will be smooth n bearable.

Al-Fatihah to a good friend of mine who passed away two weeks ago. I always thought my life is tough, almost forgotten those who face bigger challenges in life compared to mine. To my dear friend, Lady R: Mudah-mudahan Allah S.W.T. sentiasa melindungimu dan juga anak-anakmu. Kami sentiasa mendoakan yang terbaik untukmu sekeluarga. Ia adalah cabaran yang paling hebat dan aku tidak pernah berjumpa dengan wanita setabahmu. Jaga kesihatan terutama kandunganmu. Life must goes on...